**Some background...I talked about scheduling an induction for this birth with my doctor early in pregnancy. I had a previously successful induction with Leighton and I was hoping for a similar experience (read SMOOTH) this time around as well. Both my doctor and I felt very comfortable in scheduling an induction for August 9th at 39 weeks.**
Now for the rest of the story...
On our scheduled induction day Toby and I called the hospital at 5 am to make sure labor and delivery had a bed for us. We were caught a little off guard when they indicated they couldn't find our "induction" orders and while they DID have a bed they couldn't get us started until they talked to my doctor. We were told to come on in around 7 am and we could go from there. When we got to the hospital they went ahead and admitted me and put us in our room while they waited to hear from my doctor (my doctor was not the doctor on call at the hospital that day but she was coming over in between patients to deliver our sweet girl. Love her.). We waited for a little over an hour before anything got started. We were SO nervous but SO excited that the day had finally arrived. I kept telling myself that by the afternoon I would be holding my new baby girl.
The nurse came in around 8 am after getting the go ahead from my doctor. She started going through my medical history with me and started my IV. She said my doctor had called and she was going to come on over and break my water. After that we would start the pitocin and get the process rolling. My doctor came by about 8:45 am and checked me (4cm & 80% effaced) and broke my water. She told me that everything looked great and she would come back by on her lunch and see how things were going. By this time, Toby and I were giddy and I was feeling great. It was finally starting to sink in that today was going to be THE DAY. The nurse started the pitocin and I started to feel some contractions about 20 minutes later, but nothing too painful.
About 10 minutes after we took the above picture I decided to go ahead and ask for the epidural. My contractions were definitely manageable but I decided I would rather be "safe than sorry" with the pain. OMG if I only knew, lol...
My nurse ordered the epidural at about 10 am and told me I had to finish the bag of fluids before we could start it. I was fine with this since I wasn't even really in pain, just some slight discomfort and I thought I had plenty of time! W.r.o.n.g.
My nurse decided to wait and check me after we got the epidural in and I was comfortable. The anesthesiologist came in around 10:30 am and started the epidural. My contractions were getting a little stronger and I remember thinking, "The worst part is just about over...epidural is about to kick in...SMILE." The epidural went in smoothly, absolutely no pain at all. I was excited for it to kick in and rolled to my left side to let the magic medicine do it's work...except that never happened...
My contractions started to get really painful and right on top of eachother. I asked the nurse if it was normal that I could still feel everything (nothing was numb) and she said we probably just needed to give it a few more minutes. After those minutes (felt like hours to me) had passed and I could still feel everything she decided to call the anesthesiologist back in and turned OFF the pitocin until we could get me more comfortable. She also checked me...I was between 8 and 9 cm. Did you read that?!! I had transitioned from a 4 to a 9! AHH! By now, the pain was super intense and nothing was working on the epidural front. The anesthesiologist was in the room trying different doses and drugs but nothing was working. There was a clear moment where I remember coming to terms with the fact that this was all really happening and I wasn't going to be getting any pain relief. I was going to have this baby naturally!
I will admit I panicked a little in my mind. The ONLY birth plan I had planned out was getting the epidural, lol. On the way to the hospital that morning Toby started talking about the breathing techniques we had learned in Lamaze class with Leighton a couple of years ago. You want to know what I said?!! I told him to hush that I didn't need to worry about those breathing techniques because I was getting the epidural before I even started having painful contractions. I was oblivious.
Thank God for my labor nurse. She was so wonderful and totally helped me relax and would remind me to breathe through the painful contractions. I kept telling her that I REALLY needed to push and she checked me again and said, "OK, call her doctor, she's ready!!" And then she told me that I had to wait for the doctor to get there before I could push. That was the most excruciating part of the whole day. It was about 11:20 am at this time and I kept looking at Toby and lipping "I can't believe this is happening and it hurts SO bad." His little face was so pitiful. He was pacing back and forth and kept lipping to me, "I'm so sorry." You have to remember, not even an hour before this we were joking, laughing and taking self portraits!
As soon as my doctor got in the room they told me I could start pushing for relief. OMG, it was total relief (painful relief) but I couldn't remember exactly how to push (going back to mine and Toby's conversation in the car...again, oblivious). The nurses helped me work through the pain and pushes. The pain was not pleasant. I'm not going to lie. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in.my.life. but I just kept pushing one after another. The nurses would remind me when to take a breath and I would but would start pushing again right after. I kept my eyes closed the whole time and just kept repeating two phrases in my head, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..." AND "keep going, don't stop, you will be holding her in a minute." After probably 10 minutes of pain and pushing they put her on my chest. It was the most euphoric, relieving and overwhelming moment I have ever experienced.
After it was all over (less than one hour from when I realized the epidural wasn't going to work) I was kind of in shock. The anesthesiologist was in the room for the birth and right after I delivered he looked at me and said, "I am so sorry." I told him it was not his fault and I was just happy it was over ;) My doctor was so wonderful and stayed in the room with us for what seemed like a long time and talked with me about what had happened. Basically, I had transitioned too quickly for the epidural to kick in and take effect. She laughed and said next time I could have the epidural before they even broke my water. It was way too soon to be thinking about a next time. Right after Gracen was here I looked at Toby and said, "I'm not sure if you will ever be getting your boy." He sweetly replied that he was 100% okay with that and he had all he needs with his girls. Sweetest husband alive.
I was definitely weepy following labor, tears of happiness for a perfect and healthy little girl and tears that came from being so scared about what had just happened. I am pretty sure I was in a state of shock for the first hour but I was so in love. I held her on my chest for the first hour and just sat with Toby in amazement. She was so amazing. We could not believe she had a head full of DARK hair (blog name change?! hehe).
The morning was a whirlwind for us both. I went from swearing to never have another child (right after the birth) to thinking about what having another baby would be like (a few hours later). I have a feeling of completeness that I never thought possible. I loved our family of three and was so content with being Leighton's mommy. Now I can't imagine what life was like before Gracen and every time I look at her sweet face I melt. She is so perfect and I am so blessed. Beyond any words could ever express. I am in love with life and our family of FOUR.
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